Signs of Supressed Anger
“Suppression is defined as ignoring the need to openly address problematic circumstances because of the assumption that openness will prove to be fruitless or uncomfortable. The decision to suppress is an attempt at pain avoidance.” — Dr. Les Carter, psychotherapist and authorCommon signs of suppressed anger:
An individual is unaware of their own preferences or needs.
They manage how they come across to others; give the impression that they are always calm and collected.
Allow others to make a disproportionate amount of decisions in a relationship; act needless and wantless.
Struggle to trust their own judgement, especially when others hold an opposing view or preference.
Spend high amounts of energy trying to please others. They are others-focused.
Don’t initiate conversations about events or people who have made them feel disappointed, angry, or concerned. They hold in their feelings and thoughts.
Don’t allow others to help them, and they generally don’t ask for help.
Make excuses for people who behave badly. They don’t hold people accountable for their words or actions.
Avoid discussing or thinking about controversial or troubling topics.
Childhood experiences that can lead to the development of suppressed anger:
Anger in the home was expressed openly and carelessly, creating a chaotic environment.
An individual who observed yelling, name-calling, and/or physical violence during childhood might fear becoming just like the family member whose anger caused so much distress in the household. Expressing their anger can bring up feelings of shame that are difficult to face.
Feelings weren’t discussed in the household.
Someone whose parents rarely or never openly discussed emotions may not have learned how to do so themselves. When feelings arise, it can feel deeply uncomfortable. To eliminate this discomfort, they often avoid speaking openly about their feelings.
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